“D.B. Sheeple” was a reserved ovine who performed one of the most incredible stunts in history—the likes of which can never be repeated again in our society.
On the night before Thanksgiving of 1971, Sheeple firmly put down a crisp $20 bill and purchased a one-way ticket. He then proceeded to easily and quickly board the flight from Portland, Oregon, to Seattle, Washington. You read that right! No background checks, body scanners, or x-rays for his luggage. No screening process, proof of vaccination status, or pat downs. And certainly, no sitting for hours after he passed through security. Just a quick minute of business before hitching a ride on that fateful Northwest Orient flight.
Unfortunately, Sheeple’s anti-heroism ended in a raw deal for the American people, while it simultaneously made him a folk hero. You see, his actions weren’t victimless. He extorted $200,000 from several banks. Which, next to usury, is the greatest sin one could make. His actions didn’t directly implement laws which inhibited users of public airlines, but they made hijacking a main topic on American’s minds. This combined with a slew of many other hijackings at the time (similar to the serial killer frenzy of the era) provided a base argument for mass surveillance. Within the next two years, a physical screening of passengers began. Then in 1974, X-rays and metal detectors were required in U.S. airports, and criminalizing of the average customer really started to take shape! All the while, Sheeple continues to be lauded.
I’m not here to judge whether or not he should be celebrated. I’m here to address the elephant in the room. Doesn’t he seem like an intelligence asset? Are all folk heroes just assets in disguise? Sheepie and Clyde? Sheepy Crockett?
Edward Sheepden maybe? Nah, never mind. I guess it is a pretty off-base theory when you put it in perspective. There’s nothing to it, and who cares about Sheepden anyway? All that guy did was tell the criminal public the truth.