“Dear Mary-Kate Ultra,
I allow my emotions to drive me around town. They strand me in places I hate. It’s draining being a passenger held hostage by desire. I act for the sake of fulfilling an expectation, and end up disappointed in my circumstance. I so badly want to wish for something (anything) to come true, and have it appear as anticipated. I’ll do anything to avoid staring reality in the face. I know it’s not the best coping mechanism, but it’s the way I know to deal with the rules of this dimension.
Where in the vast realm of exploration is the third door? Ultimate wisdom lies in self-knowledge, and the only validation worth pursuing is from within. Is there a way to align emotions with outcomes without being overwhelmed, exhausted, and disappointed?
You, truly,
Artificial Silk Girl”
Artificial Silk Girl,
You’re not the passenger, you’re the vehicle low on fuel—and you should be the driver! Keeping this in mind, you may want to eventually stop being overwhelmed. It isn’t efficient. You are utilizing anxiety as a vessel for validation. A potent and lingering spell, masquerading as anything it desires to be. While you’re left wondering “What constitutes validation?”
Neglecting hormonal balance (through poor diet, minimal exercise, lack of sunlight, and overall absence of self-care) can encourage outcome dependency. When you’re imbalanced, your mind will find tiresome ways to try and balance you out…such as hunting down extrinsic approval. Constant approval-seeking acts as a substitute for real self-care and self-respect. Being reactionary offers societal rewards as well—it boosts our moral scorecards! Most importantly, it satiates validation addiction. Happiness is a worker for hyper-validations. The one that got away. Who hasn’t wasted time by choice though? Move on. Embrace the dimming realm, and it will shine back valiantly. Keep going…
While you are begrudgingly unplugging from the addictive source, I encourage you to analyze the vampiric icons of imposter syndrome. Whether they come from your ego or from your phone, they are always set to drain. The purpose of outcome independence is not to rid yourself of emotions. Emotions have functions, and we have been taught to use them incorrectly. When you choose perceptions dictated by emotional response, you deny yourself truth. A life without truth is a curse far worse than death. It’s tragic, but mourning over this is just as inefficient as spending years of your life grieving something you never had to begin with.
Only so many emotions can fit in your head, navigating through chemicals produced only for you. Even if you are feeling sad for another, you can only feel sad with your own body. This is why it is necessary to know where your emotions come from, as we only have so much energy. Energy that could be used to create something much grander for yourself than external validation. Learn what is screaming for attention for attention’s sake. Remember, not everything that is gold shines.
All my love,
Yours Truly
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